People really believe this?

In one of my earlier posts I wrote about how there were speakers that liked to talk about how the endtimes were certainly upon us for numerous reasons. I couldn't believe that people actually thought such things and got a few examples of how people in fact did. Well today I got my own reality check from a few friends. I forget how it came up but a few people, whom I like and respect a lot, both told me in the course of a conversation we were having that they thought they'd be alive to see the second coming. I was dumbfounded. Really? REALLY? I just didn't get it. One even told me on of their frineds had been told in their patriarchal blessing that they would live to see it. That made me think of two questions 1) Is your friend one of the 3 Nephites? and 2) Did those that settled Salt Lake have similar things in their Patriarchal Blessings?

The answer to the first is obviously a no, but the second will stick with me even though I'll never know. And how did my friend know what was in their friends blessing anyhow? Aren't members supposed to keep those things a secret? I still dislike this part of the faith, the book of revelation is fun theatre and all, but that's all I ever get from it. Who knows, I guess I can stop investing in my retirement now though.

Conference and BKP...

So it's conference time again, and for me it's the first one since coming back to church. I'm not the biggest fan as it's essentially a weekend long version of Sacrament meeting. Though it could be worse, I guess it could be a weekend long version of elder's quorum.

Anyhow, today I was once again confronted with why I'm having a difficult time with the church on somedays. It was embodied in one Boyd K. Packer. Everytime I hear him speak it just makes me feel awful. Not because he's condemned something I've done or am doing, but because he seems to represent all the things that made me leave in the first place. Maybe i'm just not seeing the big picture. Maybe it's me misinterpreting. But every time he goes off on the "Homosexual lifestyle" I want to punch him in the spleen. Look, if that's what he believes that fine, but to discuss the topic with such a lack of empathy, a lack of any understanding, a lack of love, just hurts me on a spiritual level.

As I posted over at FMH, I count on the church to be a place that adds to who I am as a person, and in return I add to it by bringing my caring and my personality (Not to mention money). Every time I hear messages like this that are so negative and condemning of people in general It just makes me want to leave the church all over again, but this time not look back.

I like going to church I like the people I meet there, I like so much about it. But if these are the messages that people are given and then applying in their lives because they're told to "tow the line" or that going against the council of church leaders makes them apostate, then how can I be a part of that community? I like so much of my church and my ward, how does one reconcile these things? Is a large part of surviving when my "ethics" or "morals" don't match up just turning a blind eye to these things or just walling that off for now? Wouldn't that hurt both me and my growth within the church even more? I'm filled with questions. Ones that even my more "liberal" friends in the ward are uncomfortable with asking or talking about. Where does one get answers when everything seems so unsure...? If he's really "speaking for God" then I guess my bits of personal revelation have been really off, because that's not the way god speaks to me.

Ayuda me.

The Best Parts In the Silliest Places

Sometimes it's the parts of church completely unrelated to the actual gospel that prove to be the most uplifting. Being new to the area, I've just been looking for way to meet people around and have some sort of social time. Well after a throughly craptacular day I decided to go to the weekly basketball game up the road at the church building. I was a half hour late, on the verge of just breaking down and though I'm terrible, had a great time.

I went just looking for something to do and just ended up laughing half the time. I'm already out of breath after running up and down the court, but doing it laughing had me almost pass out. There are a lot of times that I'm skeptical, and think that blessings appear in my life just due to chance. Tonight was not one of those times. So thanks guys (and girl) that played until past 11. I really needed that.

These New Latter Days are the Latter Days just like the Old Latter Days

So this past Sunday I sat in Sacrament meeting (In the last row) and tried to tunnel my way out through the electrical system. Why? Well other than the two mid-20s "we're so funny" couple giving the talks, the topic was one of my least favorite in our church. "These are the Latter Days" or "The World is Going to Hell in a Handbasket"

I already have major issues with this topic simply because people of every creed and religion have been saying the end was nigh since pre-Christian times onward. It's just been beaten to death. But that wasn't my major issue with these talks. No, it's the use of things that Mormons in particular find distasteful or sinful to justify that the end is getting even closer. One example from the talk is how society has allowed co-habitation to increase and surely that would play a part in all this. Sooo... non-mormons living together beings a pale horse with death on it? That can't be right. Or porn? Sure, it's not the greatest thing out there, but porn isn't the reason either. It's been around, though admittedly in not as graphic form, since artists figured out how to draw.

They pointed to the depravity of the world in general with wars and the terrible things people do to each other. Well, guess what? those things have been going on since man figured out that if they sharpened a stick and stuck it through the other guys they could take all their stuff. Could it be that the world has always had these negative forces in it, but we just get to see it up close and personal now that we have satellite TV and 24 hour news stations? That couldn't have anything to do with it could it?

I just don't understand this topic at all. Maybe someone could give me a hand with it? Because I just don't see the world coming to an end tomorrow, or next week, or in the coming years or at least in the next several generations until we make this place totally uninhabitable.

Welcome to Three Strike Mormon

I don't know what the clear mission of this site is yet. Mostly it'll probably just be about my journey through this messed up life and hoping that it somehow share some knowledge with someone that they find useful, funny or simply takes up more space and pixels on the internet.

A little bit about me: I'm a 29 year old, artsy struggling mormon that's recently single and just moved to Utah. I have absolutely no idea what being here is really like yet. I have my own special set of issues just like everyone else but am hoping that through sarcasm and pure wit I can make it through. I use quotes to encapsulate what I imagine someone else is asking/saying to me. Think Colbert Report when he does "The word" the quotes are the stuff on the side of the screen.

"Why Three Strikes Mormon? If you had three strikes wouldn't you be out?"

Sure, if I paid attention to baseball. I thought of two strike mormon, but realized I had more strikes against me than that. I might even have four which is unpossible.

"So what strikes are those?"

Well they could be real or imagined, but here's what I perceive them to be:

1. Divorced - I'm not sure why, but this seems like it could sure be a negative
2. Never went on a mission - I was inactive for a looooong time. I came back, but it wasn't all that long ago.
3. I ask questions that people don't appreciate aka, I have small doubts.
4. Profit

"So I get 3, and 4 seems nice, but the first two aren't that big of a deal are they?"

They sure seem like it since I'm getting the boot from the family ward I'm in over to the local singles ward. I have no idea what I'm doing, though these seem to be common red flags to others in those wards. I know I'm kind of prejudging with a big brush, but hey, I'm freakin out here man. I have no clue what to expect and am quite frankly scared.

Maybe it won't be all bad, maybe everyone will be great and have the spirit of christ in them. Though on the other hand maybe I'll want to poke my eyes out with a dull instrument. Maybe I'll meet some great people. Or maybe they'll be jerks and I'll keep envisioning them choking on their green jello. I have no idea. At least maybe someone will make me cookies or something. Though I can make a chocolate chip cookie just fine thank you very much. (I am not telling you the secret)