These New Latter Days are the Latter Days just like the Old Latter Days

So this past Sunday I sat in Sacrament meeting (In the last row) and tried to tunnel my way out through the electrical system. Why? Well other than the two mid-20s "we're so funny" couple giving the talks, the topic was one of my least favorite in our church. "These are the Latter Days" or "The World is Going to Hell in a Handbasket"

I already have major issues with this topic simply because people of every creed and religion have been saying the end was nigh since pre-Christian times onward. It's just been beaten to death. But that wasn't my major issue with these talks. No, it's the use of things that Mormons in particular find distasteful or sinful to justify that the end is getting even closer. One example from the talk is how society has allowed co-habitation to increase and surely that would play a part in all this. Sooo... non-mormons living together beings a pale horse with death on it? That can't be right. Or porn? Sure, it's not the greatest thing out there, but porn isn't the reason either. It's been around, though admittedly in not as graphic form, since artists figured out how to draw.

They pointed to the depravity of the world in general with wars and the terrible things people do to each other. Well, guess what? those things have been going on since man figured out that if they sharpened a stick and stuck it through the other guys they could take all their stuff. Could it be that the world has always had these negative forces in it, but we just get to see it up close and personal now that we have satellite TV and 24 hour news stations? That couldn't have anything to do with it could it?

I just don't understand this topic at all. Maybe someone could give me a hand with it? Because I just don't see the world coming to an end tomorrow, or next week, or in the coming years or at least in the next several generations until we make this place totally uninhabitable.

Welcome to Three Strike Mormon

I don't know what the clear mission of this site is yet. Mostly it'll probably just be about my journey through this messed up life and hoping that it somehow share some knowledge with someone that they find useful, funny or simply takes up more space and pixels on the internet.

A little bit about me: I'm a 29 year old, artsy struggling mormon that's recently single and just moved to Utah. I have absolutely no idea what being here is really like yet. I have my own special set of issues just like everyone else but am hoping that through sarcasm and pure wit I can make it through. I use quotes to encapsulate what I imagine someone else is asking/saying to me. Think Colbert Report when he does "The word" the quotes are the stuff on the side of the screen.

"Why Three Strikes Mormon? If you had three strikes wouldn't you be out?"

Sure, if I paid attention to baseball. I thought of two strike mormon, but realized I had more strikes against me than that. I might even have four which is unpossible.

"So what strikes are those?"

Well they could be real or imagined, but here's what I perceive them to be:

1. Divorced - I'm not sure why, but this seems like it could sure be a negative
2. Never went on a mission - I was inactive for a looooong time. I came back, but it wasn't all that long ago.
3. I ask questions that people don't appreciate aka, I have small doubts.
4. Profit

"So I get 3, and 4 seems nice, but the first two aren't that big of a deal are they?"

They sure seem like it since I'm getting the boot from the family ward I'm in over to the local singles ward. I have no idea what I'm doing, though these seem to be common red flags to others in those wards. I know I'm kind of prejudging with a big brush, but hey, I'm freakin out here man. I have no clue what to expect and am quite frankly scared.

Maybe it won't be all bad, maybe everyone will be great and have the spirit of christ in them. Though on the other hand maybe I'll want to poke my eyes out with a dull instrument. Maybe I'll meet some great people. Or maybe they'll be jerks and I'll keep envisioning them choking on their green jello. I have no idea. At least maybe someone will make me cookies or something. Though I can make a chocolate chip cookie just fine thank you very much. (I am not telling you the secret)